Missing someone...who Shreya? No, Mommy..
Shreya at her 6th month:
28th Mar 2011, I joined back work after 6 months of maternity leave and 2 months of WFH (before delivery) - leaving behing my baby back home.
I know there are lot of people around to look after her - her grandparents, father who was working from home since her birth as it is boring to go to office when his princess is at home and her nanny. But for some reason my heart was aching.
But I was smart enough not to express this to anyone - not even S could make it out...smart me :)
I sat at my desk staring blankly at the laptop screen. My mind was wandering in its own world, anticipating a call from home, wondering what Shreya must be doing at home. On the other hand, I was glad to be back to work - the family of familiar faces, my lovely cozy desk, my own world, the comfortable environment and same group of old-friends.
I was calling home every 30mins to check and on hearing that Shreya is not-very-OK, I just wanted to be near her and nothing in the world mattered any more. All of a sudden the deadline, the projects, the milestone, the opportunities, the rise, the hike all seemed so insignificant and materialistic. Now I understand that Motherhood is such a feeling that is unparalleled, unmatched to any other achievement in life.
Shreya at her 15th month:
2nd Jan 2012, I joined back work again after a break of 5 months (lucky me, isn't it?).
Nervous at the thought that Shreya would create havoc without me as she got used to having me around since last 5 months every waking moment.
But, hold on your breath, iss kahani mein twist hai...
First, let me pick up my jaw from the floor, mop up my tears, blow my nose and ignore the realisation that I am **no longer** indispensable.
Okay done. Now let's continue...
Morning Shreya came to the parking lot to see me off. With lot of kissie-missie, huggy-muggy, Mimme sits in her "shooooty" (thatz what Shreya calls my scooty) and there stands my "big girl" with smile in her face bidding mommy "tii taa" and "cccc uuu".
1 hr later, Mommy frantically calls up home to check the status but delighted (shocked?) to hear that she was not missed or pined for. Of course, Mommy pined for her every minute in office.
On returning, with much hurry and excitement, I ran to hug Shreya and her expression was "Ohh, you r back!". She greeted me with a "hiii" and then back to her play, which means, it did not matter much that her mommy was not around through-out the day.
While a part of me was cribbing about this fact but a stronger selfish part was thrilled that this meant I could now go out frequently without worrying that someone is mourning my absence.
Conclusion of the story: Is Momma happy? Yes, of course, she is happy that her "baby" is growing up, rather at a very alarming rate. But somewhere down her heart, she does not want to accept the reality that she is "no longer" indispensible..*sniff*
28th Mar 2011, I joined back work after 6 months of maternity leave and 2 months of WFH (before delivery) - leaving behing my baby back home.
I know there are lot of people around to look after her - her grandparents, father who was working from home since her birth as it is boring to go to office when his princess is at home and her nanny. But for some reason my heart was aching.
But I was smart enough not to express this to anyone - not even S could make it out...smart me :)
I sat at my desk staring blankly at the laptop screen. My mind was wandering in its own world, anticipating a call from home, wondering what Shreya must be doing at home. On the other hand, I was glad to be back to work - the family of familiar faces, my lovely cozy desk, my own world, the comfortable environment and same group of old-friends.
I was calling home every 30mins to check and on hearing that Shreya is not-very-OK, I just wanted to be near her and nothing in the world mattered any more. All of a sudden the deadline, the projects, the milestone, the opportunities, the rise, the hike all seemed so insignificant and materialistic. Now I understand that Motherhood is such a feeling that is unparalleled, unmatched to any other achievement in life.
Shreya at her 15th month:
2nd Jan 2012, I joined back work again after a break of 5 months (lucky me, isn't it?).
Nervous at the thought that Shreya would create havoc without me as she got used to having me around since last 5 months every waking moment.
But, hold on your breath, iss kahani mein twist hai...
First, let me pick up my jaw from the floor, mop up my tears, blow my nose and ignore the realisation that I am **no longer** indispensable.
Okay done. Now let's continue...
Morning Shreya came to the parking lot to see me off. With lot of kissie-missie, huggy-muggy, Mimme sits in her "shooooty" (thatz what Shreya calls my scooty) and there stands my "big girl" with smile in her face bidding mommy "tii taa" and "cccc uuu".
1 hr later, Mommy frantically calls up home to check the status but delighted (shocked?) to hear that she was not missed or pined for. Of course, Mommy pined for her every minute in office.
On returning, with much hurry and excitement, I ran to hug Shreya and her expression was "Ohh, you r back!". She greeted me with a "hiii" and then back to her play, which means, it did not matter much that her mommy was not around through-out the day.
While a part of me was cribbing about this fact but a stronger selfish part was thrilled that this meant I could now go out frequently without worrying that someone is mourning my absence.
Conclusion of the story: Is Momma happy? Yes, of course, she is happy that her "baby" is growing up, rather at a very alarming rate. But somewhere down her heart, she does not want to accept the reality that she is "no longer" indispensible..*sniff*
how similar situtations we moms are put in by these little monsters no? :) kids do adjust to new circumstances and schedules pretty much faster than we adults could even think of! sigh...motherhood :)
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