Soham, you are a pure magic!

I remember the day I found out you were coming. 

I’m not proud of my initial reaction, but at that time, it was how I felt. I called a friend, who knew that I would be testing that day, in a panic because part of me wanted it to be true but again a part of me was shit scared. I woke your father and he literally jumped from the bed hearing the news. 

Over the next few hours, I moved around in a fog. I struggled with lot of emotions. 

My mind was occupied with thoughts of Shreya, who by then left for school. I thought a lot about how she would feel and what she would think.

I cried because I always wanted to give Shreya a company, the part I missed during my growing up year. And seeing that it all finally happening, I did not know how to react.

I felt overwhelmed because I was already jumping up and down with joy, recalling my pregnancy with Shreya, counting days for my maternity break, and doing all those things I imagined a woman who has been trying to get pregnant for years does.

But amidst all these thoughts and feelings, I prayed. 

I just prayed.

Hours later I found myself seeing you for the first time in the scan machine. 

You were already 7 weeks old and was oh so beautiful. 

Your little heart was just beating away and even though I could hear it, I was unable to believe all that is happening around. The only regret I had at that moment was that your sister couldn’t be there to see you.

5th month scan was special because we got to see you more elaborately and that same day your sister was informed about the big news. I should have recorded her reaction. She was literally awe-stuck. Hours she stared at the scan print. There were happy tears and ample dose of group hugs.

With lots of excitement and planning, you finally landed in our arm almost 3 weeks before your due date.

It seems so cliche to say that time is fleeting. But especially when you are in the thick of motherhood, it’s true. I didn’t think I could possibly love another human being with that perfect balance of tenderness, fierceness, and joy yet you came along and proved my worried heart wrong. 

In this one year, if anything I could boost and tell proudly about is the bond you share with your Diya. You’ve helped her blossom. She’s not missing anything because when you came along, you’ve made her world bigger. You’re teaching her gentleness and how to share her most loved people with you, her Mimme and Papa. You’re teaching her to have compassion and take her nurturing skills to next level. You’re teaching her to consider someone else first. And did I tell you how perfectly she is doing all that? This topic demands a lots to say and can safely be parked for a separate post.

I am afraid of forgetting these little years. I’m beginning to forget the earliest version of you. As we venture into the second year of your life, we look forward to more fun days ahead. More love and more adventure.

Darling, you make our family more complete. You were what we had been missing before we even knew it.

Welcome to toddlerhood, Soham.

Love and then more love.