Food for thought

Still the news of "a pretty close school friend getting married to a boy which her family had chosen and whom she has not yet met" is sinking in. However I would have my voice in the entire topic and it may be very different from many others. 
I don't know what it is about 'Arranged' marriages and this concept literally scares me. 
A complete stranger, who will seem chivalrous, gentle, kind, well dressed when you meet him 4-5 times, even talk to him day-in/day-out over phone for may be 6 months or a years...but would that be enough to judge how bad his temper is? Or If he has a really bad history? Or if his mouth stinks...yuck? Or if he has a very irritating habit or may be a girlie habit which goes completely against your wish?
I know in Indian society parents generally do a lot of groundwork and background checks... but how does coming from a great family and being well educated guarantee that you are not a narrow minded person? These are qualities (among many) that can really undo a good impression, and will generally never be displayed in the first few meetings..
How do you get yourself to spend the rest of your life with someone you have known 3-4-5 or max 6 months? I know of people who knew each other for 4 years, and things didn't 
work out with them. So a few months is pale in that comparison. 
I'm a crazy, entangled, moody, extrovert, sentimental extreme person. I would need someone who would understand that and embrace it. I've seen fun filled, enthusiastic young women turn resigned, quiet, compromised ...lose the very part of them that made them the person they are. That's something I can't compromise. If I were to stop being so mad, spontaneous and extreme..I wouldn't be me.
That said, "Compromise" I'm willing to make. I'm willing to try hard to get his folks to like me, or move another city/country if he gets a job he can't refuse or tone down a little, or have a kid extra if he wants...lol!!
But I am not willing to lose the very me which makes the person I am and that too at any cost, and by that logic I have preferred to retain my maiden name and thankfully S and 
his family had no second word in that. S anyways knew about this preference before the marriage itself and was not at all bothered about it but I was little worried about my in-laws view regarding the same. Much to my surprise, they did not even question me when I expressed my views and this is something which elevated my respect towards them to a different height. It’s not I want to hide that I am married or hide the fact that I am the daughter-in-law of that family; no..it’s just that it is not my whole identity or it is not the only way I would like to get myself introduced to the outside world. I am and will be always my parent's daughter first and then daughter-in-law of that family and I do not see any harm in feeling that way and also any reason why I should take away by maiden surname which is an integral part of my self-esteem.
Well, opinions does vary from people to people and would care to know what do you think about it?